Last week after we announced I had so many questions come in about our pregnancy and so I thought it would be fun to do a Q&A where I could thoughtfully give answers and link to certain things that would help be a resource to you! I’ve been open about our TTC/fertility journey online in the past, and with the overwhelming love and support you all have shown I was happy to do this Q&A! There are some questions I’ll break down into more detailed posts as well, so thank you to all for submitting your questions and kind words!
How are you feeling?
So many asked this which I think is so kind! Thank you! It means a lot when someone asks this question. I am feeling good, now that I’m in the second trimester I do have more energy than I did before (still not 100% like I used to) but just very grateful for all of it. I am thankful for every second of this pregnancy.
Kindest thing Neal has done for you so far?
I don’t even know where to begin…this man has helped me so much mentally and physically! He cooks everything and I haven’t had to clean the kitchen in months. He’s been wonderful getting me anything I need, taking care of the house and dog. One particular cute thing he did was one night I was joking in bed saying how I wish I could wake up at the Fairmont Hotel and have one of those big breakfast buffets (obviously we cannot travel right now) and the next morning he got up and put out a whole spread of bacon, eggs, pancakes, avocado toast, yogurt (on ice!) with an array of juices. It was so cute and thoughtful! He is just the best husband and he is already the best dad.
Is fatigue and exhaustion actually even more when pregnant?
Yes! I was tired a lot through the first trimester during the day and at night I could barely make it to 6pm before passing out. I did however and still do wake up through the night because I get hungry or have to pee (lol, real stuff) so I think that’s also why I’d crash so early. I haven’t slept through a full night since I found out I was pregnant and I’m sure it’s my body preparing me for motherhood, haha! All worth it.
Did you have a feeling before you took the test that you were pregnant?
The day I took a test I was particularly sleepy. I had been pregnant before, so I was a little familiar with how the symptoms had felt once. This was different however, it was an extreme exhaustion. We went to Neal’s parents home for lunch and I was going to pass out on the couch after we ate. I thought it was just because I was full, little did I know…! When we came home in the afternoon I changed into my pjs (which I always do when I get home, haha) and went to lay down. Neal was out on our patio with Lucy. Then, something just told me to get up and take a test. At this time I wouldn’t take tests because the negative result would be very triggering, I’d normally just wait for my period to come, but I guess it was just the spirit nudging me to get up and take a test. I had a stock of these ones from Amazon in my closet (p.s. tests can be so expensive so I eventually just bought a pack of these cheaper ones) and I pulled one out to then see two lines, one faint, but surely there. So, short answer, I guess yes, I did have a feeling which urged me to test before my period came but it wasn’t something I thought about weeks before or had a strong feeling. The exhaustion that day is what really made me question it. I’m glad I got up and took the test! 🙂
When you found out you were pregnant what was your expression?
I saw a faint line appear and I started laughing. I kind of just didn’t really believe it. It’s never how you think you’re going to find out, let me just say that! It was unexpected, but of course so very welcomed and with thanks to God. I had been through this before and so I think I was trying to protect my heart just because I had experienced a miscarriage in 2019, I was more just in shock I think. I also thought my eyes were playing tricks on me!
How did you tell Neal? Did you surprise him or did you both find out together? What was his reaction?
Right after I saw the faint line, I ran over to the patio door to wave Neal to come in and just immediately showed him the test and said, “is that a second line!?” he came right in and looked at the test squinting hard and looked up at me smiling the hardest smile, “YES IT IS!” It was so sweet, he hugged me and we thanked God, but again I didn’t get too, too excited. I couldn’t even talk about it too much throughout that night, I just wanted to go about business and confirm with a doctor and make sure everything was okay. I was laughing in disbelief, but I knew we needed to go get blood work done and that brought up some past feelings from the time before. We were thanking God and praying over this baby, but I’d be lying if I said we didn’t have some anxiety in the first few weeks.
How many weeks pregnant are you?
I am 15 weeks pregnant!
Do you know the sex of the baby yet? If not, do you want to find out? Do you have a feeling of what the baby may be?
We don’t know the sex of the baby just yet but we will definitely be finding out if we can through an ultrasound in a few weeks! I don’t have a strong instinct feeling of any particular sex. I kind of have felt it’s a boy, but again nothing concrete why or for any reason. We are so excited either way and just pray for a healthy babe!
Do you get nausea throughout the day? If so, what are some things you do to help it?
Yes, I had a dull nausea throughout the day during my first trimester and it would kick up stronger in the evening. Now I get it if I’m feeling hungry, but it has mostly subsided. I try to eat small frequent meals and snacks throughout the day (big meals can make you feel more nauseous sometimes), ginger is my best friend (you can get candy form or in Canada these Gravol ginger lozenges) and these nausea bands! I threw up a few times (maybe 5 in total) and after I would make sure to re-hydrate with pedialyte popsicles or coconut water. Having snacks on my bedside was and is still essential if I wake up at night, I’ll instantly feel hungry and the nausea follows shortly after. I’m thankful for it though, it reminds me that baby is doing well and it’s a symptom I prayed to have which gave me security.
Did fertility treatments/medication help you get pregnant?
We were days away from beginning further testing and exploring treatment options at a fertility clinic when we found out we got pregnant naturally. I did make some lifestyle changes over the last year, which I’m not really sure what in particular made a difference, both times we got pregnant it took a while – 9 months (first time) and 1 year the second time (which is now), so it wasn’t something that happened quickly for us. I can do a separate blogpost to share some of the lifestyle changes that I made to help support my fertility and hormones. I do believe both times it was God’s timing and He has a purpose for everything.
Did you have anxiety in sharing the happy news of your pregnancy online? I also got asked: can you give advice for those who are currently pregnant and don’t have the courage to announce?
I did have some anxiety around this, while I wanted to share the news to give hope, as well as because my job require me to be online and posting photos of myself, I was also nervous. I had similar fears in the beginning weeks of the pregnancy because I’ve experienced a loss before, your mind naturally goes to the thought of, “what if something bad happens?” This is so valid, but here’s the thing, I don’t want to live my life in fear. I trust God and His plan for my life. However He wants to use my story – I am His. That involves some letting go, faith is “the substance of things hoped for.” I believe He breathed this life in my womb and from the beginning I’ve needed to trust and surrender to His plan. I didn’t feel pressure to post, If I did I would have waited longer. Especially with something so sacred, you need to do what’s best for you. I would just encourage you to not let your decisions be led by fear but by love. I have love for all of you, you’ve been on this journey with me, I made the decision with Neal to have our TTC journey be public and transparent and I trust God’s plan and protection. I prayed that our pregnancy announcement would glorify God, inspire others and give hope. To me, that outweighed my fears. I release all of this in to God’s hands.
How has your anxiety been while pregnant?
In the beginning weeks of pregnancy my anxiety was higher. I didn’t let it get too out of control because I also know stress in my body wouldn’t be healthy for baby or I. I didn’t put a lot of pressure on myself at the same time to not feel my feelings. I let myself feel. I am thankful the fertility clinic we were supposed to begin treatments with took me in right away when they found out I was pregnant and monitored me with extra ultrasounds and blood tests to ensure my HCG level was rising given my history from the year prior. I am so grateful for the healthcare I received and continue to here in Canada. Those phone calls waiting for the results if HCG was going up were very nerve racking. My heart would beat so hard and quick, not knowing what I was about to hear. If my TTC journey, prior miscarriage and now this pregnancy have taught me anything it is to release control. I have become better at this and just staying present and trusting God. It will require a lot of trust going forward and into parenthood, and I appreciate all of the lessons I’ve learned along the way to help prepare me for that.
Another thing I’d like to note, that I’m a huge advocate for, is that I also did a lot of work with a therapist prior to becoming pregnant again. Therapy has given me the tools to manage my anxiety, as well as the grace and patience needed in pregnancy and I am really grateful for it. Leaning into my faith, resources to support my mental health, using tools I’ve learned, as well as processing with Neal, close friends and family all helps me to cultivate peace.
How was your first trimester?
I really slowed down prior to becoming pregnant, so for me, resting and being gentle with my body, as well as allowing it to form this baby in those crucial first weeks was something I didn’t struggle with. The pandemic really slowed down our business and lifestyle (we used to travel a lot), but even before that near the end of last year I just really wanted slow living. I’ve dealt with bad anxiety and burn out before and I really do listen to my body – I don’t play around with that. I know it can feel like a lot (suddenly slowing down) if you’re used to a certain pace before and then your body is really not functioning how it once could. Going through it this time around, I really nourished and nurtured myself. There was nothing more important to me than this experience and I wanted to give my body and mind the time and space it needed. I put no pressure on myself to produce or work or have to show up — a pandemic and staying home a lot takes that pressure off as well when you’re not really out and about anyways! We told our immediate family and close friends early (at 6 weeks), so they were able to support us and pray over us in those early weeks. I let myself sleep and eat as much as I needed and felt so grateful that my body was working so hard to create life. Before the placenta forms your body is working hard, which is why you feel so fatigue and can be nauseas. You’re giving so much of yourself to this baby and I think it’s a beautiful thing. It can be difficult though and this is different for all women. I threw up a handful of times (I know this can be worse for some), but again I felt grateful because I knew it meant that the pregnancy was holding. I’m so thankful I had family and friends I could reach out to talk out any of my concerns. I actually have a cousin and a friend of mine that are due a few months before me, so that’s been so nice being able to go through this at the same time.
Tips for TTC community?
I had a lot of questions asking about my diet, skincare products, tracking ovulation and the overall TTC journey – I can dive into this in another post. I believe in God’s timing and plan, and there’s never just one thing that changes everything, it’s a combination of a lot of things. I did a few of those to help support my mental health, body, hormones and protect my fertility, so I can share this in another upcoming post!
I hope this answered some of your questions, I can’t wait to share more from this journey! Thank You Jesus!